"Anyway, the thing that is scary and difficult is that he wants to, not whether I allow him or not."
I just got back from a camping trip with a woman I really connected with, and we agreed -- independently and individually before we even talked about it -- that we would not have sex. When it came down to it we both wanted it, we had the opportunity, we held each other -- and we both knew there were issues that would have to be resolved before we would make love.
And so we just cuddled. We went as far as we decided, and no farther. Here's the point: we now have a huge confidence and trust in each other because of the way we helped each other stay true to ourselves.
I think Redpepper is right on: talk. If you and he agree that he can make love to her, and make that part of your relationship-trust, then it will be good. If you have doubts then tell him and find a way to resolve those issues, and help him stay true to himself and to your agreement. But it is SO good to agree on a realistic way forward and then follow through on it! Such a relationship-building experience. "An investment in the future" -- YEAH! Exactly.
Last edited by EugenePoet; 07-29-2010 at 03:46 PM.