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Old 07-29-2010, 06:33 AM
SayYes SayYes is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 45

I'm no expert, but I think one of the best things you can do is remind yourself that it's okay to have a range of emotions about the thought of your partner being with someone else. I've definitely learned that even though I'm the one who wanted this arrangement, even though I am the happiest now than I have ever been in my life and wouldn't change a single thing, my husband becoming involved with a new person still causes complicated feelings for me. My non-poly friends can't seem to understand that at all; they take a "you asked for it" stance and can't seem to comprehend that I can be super, super genuinely happy for my husband while still dealing with my own insecurities at the same time. We're incredibly conditioned toward monogamy, and there isn't some magic switch that gets flipped that removes all of that when we decide to live a poly life. It's still a process to get to a point of absolute comfort, and it's totally normal to have some mixed emotions.
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