Originally Posted by AutumnalTone
I'd be having problems with her over the lack of honesty, myself. She waits until you're supposed to be moving 800 miles to bring up the fact that she wants to be able to fuck around? I'm thinking that's a bit late. I don't care whether it's due to an innate lack of honesty in dealing with other people or just gross disrespect for you, it's an extremely manipulative thing to do.
That's really how I was feeling when I started this thread this morning. But she seems to be letting me in on things as she comes to realize them. The timing sucks - and I'm not convinced that there isn't a destructive impulse there unrelated to poly, or open relationships, or whatever- but I can't say it's a case of deliberate lying.
Also, I'm not sure she is exactly saying she wants to be able to fuck around. She seems to expect that she will not be able to, and accepts it.
Am I wrong or is there a bit of a judgement being made that polyamorism is morally superior to other forms of non-monogamy? What does this re-defining do to the discussion about the innateness (versus choosing) of the condition? Is polyamorism more innate - or more legitimate as an identity - then "fucking around?"
Sorry if these questions seem uneducated. But with maybe moving and maybe breaking up, little time for research. I appreciate everyone's input. I don't know anyone I would talk to about this.