We're going through more than one variation of this theme right now, lol. Violet and I have always been very affectionate, in private, in public, wherever. Now Adrian is HYPER afafectionate, at home, in public, doesn't matter. Violet doesn't mind - most of th time. But it can seem overbearing or even disrespectful to the other girls sometimes, they've said as much.
Now Lana - she's usually much more reserved. But as we're getting more physically close and working on moving the romance forward, she's becoming more affectionate. And while Violet does't mind this at all, drian is threaatened by it.
So now all 3 are becoming more and more comfortable showing such affection - and in some dynamics, less comfortable with the others showing it.
In your situation DP, I would just ask her! Maybe she appreciates your laid back approach; maybe she wishes you were more affectionate, like she's "in the way" or even wishes she could feel the compersion when you two snuggle up or hug in public. Dunno till you iscuss it or *gasp* try...