Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
I didn't realize CF was so selective and elitist. I'm not sure I want to be in the club anymore, I just want to be happy about not having kids of my own. I realize you're a member of some CF groups and I supposed you've all spent a lot of time defining criteria... but as soon as I hear "The true, real *** people" it starts sounding holier-than-thou, and I want no part of that. Now if you'd said, the "extreme CF people" it wouldn't sound so elitist and offensive.
so I guess under your elitist definition, I would still get to be in the club. But take my name off the member list, I don't want to be part of something so exclusionary, just so I can wear some CF label like it's a badge of honour.
I never invited you to join a "club" and there is no list for me to take your name off of. There is no "CF movement", and just because I say something is a certain way does not necessarily make it fucking so. It's not like I have some kind of power or agenda to impose my ideals on to others. I said those things because that is what I believe and it's not some kind of dogmatic manifesto like you're making it out to be. I probably should have said "extreme" or "hardcore" instead of "true" or "real", but whatever. I didn't think you would like what I had to say no matter how I chose to say it, so I just put it out there without mincing words, and I stand by the essence of it. It is not something that requires validation or consensus.
ETA: Having a baby and giving it up for adoption or being an egg-donor or surrogate and then claiming to "be" CF is a bit like having sexual intercourse "just one time" and then claiming to still "be" a virgin. It's just one of those things that once you do it, you can't go back. Maybe I can bend a little regarding the surrogacy if the surrogate is ONLY acting as a carrier for another couple's fertilized egg, but if the offspring is of the host's DNA, then no, the surrogate is not CF.