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Old 07-28-2010, 03:10 PM
DazednConfused DazednConfused is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 119
Default Am I getting better or worse?

So, as you may know, my wife discovered/admitted she was Poly about 3 weeks ago. *We are both female.* She currently has a BF, a guy I actually introduced her to, a friend I grew up with. He has been marriedd to his wife, who does not know, for 10 years. The last few weeks have been an apocolyptic disaster for me. My only saving grace has been finding some people here with a profound understanding of both sides of the coin (or maybe all 3 sides).

I have been trying very hard to protect her from ...me? She insists she wants to remain my wife, and has insited such through every minute of this. I shouldI have been doing all the research to help me cope; she and her BF are muddling, horribly, through it. I have enouraged them both to do their owwn homework, and met nothing but resistance.

Yesterday, I think I made some progress. I am a very hot temperreed person, and have done a fairly good job being as kind as I could through all of this, measuring my words before I speak. Well, yesterday I snapped a bit. I have been dening our marriage since this started. She in turn, as I guess human nature would allow, accepted that, maybe too willingly. She made some unreasonable requests along the way, such as when we were out in public, she wasn't 'with' either of us.

Well, I snapped yesterday, told her any of her BFs now or later will know shes married to me, and we will act as a married couple whenever we are together period. I of course, will behave with consideration and class on a case by case basis, but our marriage is now and will always be the priority.

This was pretty big for me, as I refused to even call her my wife forr weeks now. I hope I'm on the right path, I really am trying. I neverr been a game-player and it seems polyamory requires both 100% unadultrated honesty, and I need to be better at expressing how I feel without the worries of protecting herr from my not so nice occasional feelings.

Last edited by DazednConfused; 07-28-2010 at 08:47 PM. Reason: Gender Clarification
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