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Old 07-27-2010, 08:59 AM
violet violet is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Nevada
Posts: 93
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This is a strange question for me.

For me personally, love and sex are two very different things. I can have sexual feelings/attraction for many people; which I'm sure isn't even a foreign concept for some (or even most) mono's.

I have come to realize and understand that I cannot love more than one person in a conventional sense. In our relationship (HMA, Lana, Adrian, and I), HMA is my fiance and my soulmate I love him. My love for Lana is a sisterly love - it feels familial more than anything. I am 'in love' with her the same way I am my brothers and sisters. I haven't developed anything deep or meaningful with Adrian yet - she's still very new. I can, possibly, see myself coming to love her in a girlfriend-type way - someone who I enjoy dating and care deeply for, but not someone who is 'soulmate' or 'marriage' material.

However, that said, I completely understand the concept of total polyamory. HMA has the ability to fall in love with multiple women, and separate his relationships into meaningful one-on-one things. He has stated many times he would be happy being monogamous with me, but I know that isn't who he is at the core of his being and I trust him to care for all involved.

I would be unable to handle a poly relationship if I were not the 'primary' partner. I acknowledge this as an insecurity issue, but it doesn't concern me. I couldn't be a unicorn or a secondary, so I know better than to seek those relationships out or do anyone the disservice of trying it. lol

I suppose the tern "monoflexible" applies quite well to me!
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"No lover, if he be of good faith, and sincere, will deny he would prefer to see his mistress dead than unfaithful."
-Marquis De Sade

"Variety, multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles of lust.."
-Marquis De Sade
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