View Single Post
Old 07-27-2010, 08:59 AM
violet violet is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Nevada
Posts: 93

This is a strange question for me.

For me personally, love and sex are two very different things. I can have sexual feelings/attraction for many people; which I'm sure isn't even a foreign concept for some (or even most) mono's.

I have come to realize and understand that I cannot love more than one person in a conventional sense. In our relationship (HMA, Lana, Adrian, and I), HMA is my fiance and my soulmate I love him. My love for Lana is a sisterly love - it feels familial more than anything. I am 'in love' with her the same way I am my brothers and sisters. I haven't developed anything deep or meaningful with Adrian yet - she's still very new. I can, possibly, see myself coming to love her in a girlfriend-type way - someone who I enjoy dating and care deeply for, but not someone who is 'soulmate' or 'marriage' material.

However, that said, I completely understand the concept of total polyamory. HMA has the ability to fall in love with multiple women, and separate his relationships into meaningful one-on-one things. He has stated many times he would be happy being monogamous with me, but I know that isn't who he is at the core of his being and I trust him to care for all involved.

I would be unable to handle a poly relationship if I were not the 'primary' partner. I acknowledge this as an insecurity issue, but it doesn't concern me. I couldn't be a unicorn or a secondary, so I know better than to seek those relationships out or do anyone the disservice of trying it. lol

I suppose the tern "monoflexible" applies quite well to me!
"No lover, if he be of good faith, and sincere, will deny he would prefer to see his mistress dead than unfaithful."
-Marquis De Sade

"Variety, multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles of lust.."
-Marquis De Sade
Reply With Quote