Ask, ask, ask but it's probably best to do it generally on-line until you find a person that has experience in the particular lifestyle you're interested in because everyone's situation is different.
"Big love" was not polamory it was about polygamy, which is a very different thing.
I'm happy to help but at the moment I'm mono in love with a poly guy who does hold a fantasy of having me and his OSO both living with him. I must admit that I am rather intrigued by the idea, although I can't see that I'd stay mono for long under that arrangement. It's all academic at the moment anyway because OSO is about a million steps behind Z's fantasy.