Originally Posted by CowleyRoad
There is part of me that says, yes, I want to lie next to B again, and use what my wife calls "the hidden talents" to turn her into a giggly, quivering multiorgasmic mass. I think we'd all feel that was flattering, to have someone feel that way at their touch. But at the expense of losing my wife, no, I can't do that. She says I can't do anything to lose her. I'll never know if that's true unless it happens.
This indicates to me that you don't necessarily have a poly relationship with them and perhaps it would be helpful to see it as simply "open." I notice you didn't say, I can't wait to sit beside her and talk about life the universe and everything... you talk about sex... if you don't love her or them, then it's just a couple you like to have sex with. End of story; no problems, no worries... just as long as she (they) doesn't fall in love with you. That would mean actually having emotions rather than feeling horny.
Just a thought. Perhaps you and your wife are over thinking this.