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Old 07-27-2010, 07:09 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
I have to nitpick here. If you have a kid you are NOT child-free. You yourself can count as child-free if you have no kids of your own, but anyone who has ever had a kid, whether the kid lives with them, is grown, or given up for adoption, or dead, etc. is not CF. CF is not JUST a state of mind. That is PART of it (for example, if you always wanted a kid but were unable to have one for whatever reason, you are childLESS, not childFREE). Someone can ONLY be "child-free" if they never wanted a kid and never had a kid.
I hear what you're saying. But someone who never wanted a kid and then accidentally gets pregnant (the pill can fail, condoms fail a lot, and then there's rape) so they give it up for anonymous closed adoption because they want nothing to do with a kid, how is that not CF? In this big bad world, we can make all the "decisions" we want, but that doesn't always mean our decisions will be carried out.

I could interpret what you're saying as CF means you have to both decide not to have kids, and then be lucky enough not to have an accident, and if you do, you have to be comfortable having an abortion.

Even as I wrote it, I saw the flaw in calling "us" child-free, as my husband constantly has to consider how his decisions will affect his daughter. I'm not completely free of responsibility as far as she is concerned, since she is in my life, but I've never thought of myself as a parent to her... I see our relationship closer to aunt/niece than step-mother/daughter. I still consider myself to be CF because I decided in my youth that I never wanted kids, I always took my little pink pill religiously to make sure it didn't happen by accident (with the plan of an abortion if that failed), and then got my husband fixed to make sure it stayed that way.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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