novice needing insight
I've been thinking about poly for at least ten years, but didn't know it had a name until recently spotting a copy of "Open" on someone's desk at work. Though I didn't read more than a few paragraphs, it spurred me to this sight via google. I'm interested in bringing it up with my wife of 29 years, but fear what might be a negative reaction. My main reason is for variety and possibly a mid-life realization that our frequency of sex will never be where I wish it to be, even if I didn't desire more variety. My most honest guess is that we average making love about once every four to six weeks, and this has been true since before we had kids 19 years ago. Our sex is usually good, sometimes great. For many years I've fantasized about various women with whom I worked, or with whom my wife and I are friends. Masturbation has been far more frequent than sex with my wife, and I've never cheated on her with another woman.
I'd like advice on how to approach her about this without hurting her, but can't think of any good ways to do this. I fully understand that broaching the subject can't be undone, and that her trust in me might become shaky. I also know that by definition this allows the same openness for her, though at this point, I doubt she has any interest in pursuing it.