Thanks so much FireStorm.
It looks like...sigh. I don't know. B and H really, really want to see us again, and my wife is starting to get concerned. Sometimes she says she wants to see them again, sometimes not. I never know if the times she says she wants to see them is just in trying not to hurt me, or hurt them...I never know what the truth is.
I can't imagine a life without her, and I want to do what she likes. I realize that part of this has to be about myself, but I suppose it's hard to find a middle ground if she doesn't want it. Of course, at times she has said she's wanted it and I don't want to be the one who stops her from having it. I know the answer is communication but I don't think she knows what she wants either. Having gone this far...and still not knowing; I don't know what to think any more.
There is part of me that says, yes, I want to lie next to B again, and use what my wife calls "the hidden talents" to turn her into a giggly, quivering multiorgasmic mass. I think we'd all feel that was flattering, to have someone feel that way at their touch. But at the expense of losing my wife, no, I can't do that. She says I can't do anything to lose her. I'll never know if that's true unless it happens.