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Old 07-26-2010, 04:34 PM
immaterial immaterial is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 135

I'm currently on a 10-day visit to a town where I lived, on and off, for 25 years. I have had several sexual relationships in this town, many jobs, many friendships and two marriages and divorces. In many ways this place really feels like my home town, even though it is 2000 miles from where I "grew up." I was only 22 when I first came here, though, and I was definitely not grown up. It not only feels like my home town, it is also in many ways "the scene of the crime." Lots of mistakes, missteps, failed monogamous relationships, employment trauma, spiritual awakening, insights, etc. Lots of drug and alcohol use and abuse. Lots of ghosts and lots of history. It's compounded by the fact that the town is fairly small and many people I have known over the years are still here (although a great many have left).

The main spiritual purpose of this trip has been to make several amends, an attempt to clear away some of the wreckage of the past. Some of these have been with former employers, but the majority have been with 4 exes who still live here. Both ex wives and two ex girlfriends. I am lucky to have been on relatively good terms with these exes. The conversations were easy to arrange, as a result of being in fairly regular contact with all of them via email or Facebook or in person. In each case, my sincere desire to allow for closure and repair of some of the damage of the past was met with a generous and forgiving spirit. Also, in each case, there have been several surprises, several unexpected aspects. (One funny pattern is that all four women have offered me a sofa or futon to sleep on).

I am still digesting and integrating all of this interaction. I'm sure it will be a good long while before the full effect of these amends is felt in my everyday life, in how I am in relationships from now on and in how free I am finally able to be of the ghosts of the past. It's an amazing process.

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