Originally Posted by sage
Hi, (I presume it's Mr Babe I'm talking to)
What is normal in polyamory? Everyone just seems to be working out their stuff and it's more about fairness than normality.
It sounds like you have practical problems around getting enough intimate adult time whether it's with Babe or separately. Have you talked about it in these terms?
And the sex thing - again I can't talk about normality but I would want to know. I find it erotic. Of course you have to be considerate to what Babe and her lover want, they may want to keep things special between themselves. I think it's still OK to ask whether or not it happened though.
Yes it is Mr. Babe writing and I hear you on the fairness thing. Poly or non poly, I feel any open relationship takes a lot of defining and communication.
We have and are talking about getting more quality time together.
We agree that this is important to our rel.
Regarding their sex life and their privacy I am a little conflicted. On one hand I think? I want to be considerate to what Babe and her lover want but Babe IS my primary partner so I feel what both she and I want to know takes precedence no? Anyway I STILL I think I will want to know if they had sex or not for a while now. Not sure I am yet ready to not ask yet.
I feel that by knowing I am keeping it real and accepting it more rather than say brushing it under carpet like it never happens.
Thanks for your input.