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Old 07-25-2010, 01:14 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Good reads! Great topic!

Unconditional love became a huge topic for my family when I found out about Karma's most recent affairs. I can't tell you how many times I heard, "how can you still love someone who hurts you like that?"

How can I not? Should I attempt to stop loving him b/c he made a mistake (or several)? Yes he hurt me to the core, but I love him. And had he not taken responsibility and not worked to resolve the problems, I would have left, b/c love doesn't equal door mat for me, but I'd still love him.

Not parts and pieces of him. I love Karma. Yes there are things about him that drive me up a wall, but they are part of the intricate web that makes up who he is. How can I love part and not the whole? That doesn't make sense to me.

It's been hard for him to understand, as he grew up in a "I love the good you not the bad you" type home as well. He began learning to hide mistakes to keep from feeling that sense of unlove mixed with disapproval. My heart aches to think of a child living that life. But the adult Karma hid his mistakes from me for fear of the same type of rejection. That's just alien to me. My parents always tried to help me find a way to reach the same goal without the same consequence. I was very rarely afraid to say " Mom I screwed up."

Which in turn has influenced my adult life. I find studies on our parents influence on our adult life very interesting. Parents are not perfect, but there is no hiding the fact that they influence us in our adult lives.

So in a long winded roung about way, that's unconditional love to me. It means mistakes are forgiven and lessons are learned and the love is always there regardless. Anger doesn't equal love or no love, pain doesn't either, neither does happiness. Love is something of it's own. Influenced by all emotions but comanded by none.
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