I tend not to hover when ppl are ill or in pain, imply b/c I am always ill or in pain and I HATE when people hover of me. I'm sick, not an invalid. Karma asks every morning- how are you feeling today-and we go from there. It gives me the chance to say if I think I'll need extra help, and puts him on the same page so he isn't left to assume.
But I still stand by the fact that if any of us were in the hosp, we'd drop whatever we could to be there. Hospital stays are much different than chronic illness.
I like LR expect anyone I or Karma are in a relationship with to be comitted to the family as much as we are to theirs. Yes needs need to be expressed and communication key, but I just find it unaaceptable to not be there for a SO who is having a medical (or any other for that matter) crisis.