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Old 07-24-2010, 07:01 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by Sorcha17 View Post
LR that must have really added to your recovery stress! Someone on this thread said don't assume a bf or SO would realize a hospital stay would require attention or altering plans, I think that is bs! Not that you have to rearrange your schedule for a hangnail but a hospital stay (several days at that) is a different story all together. I mean at least make the offer unless you are a completely self-centered neanderthal! If you love someone at the very least health issues should be a concern.
Ok I deleted what I originally wrote because I realize it was going to go strongly against the grain. I still don't believe your sentiment is true. And I hope I can explain it

As a guy whose wife has an illness that requires a lot of attention sometimes, I hear about pain, pills, doctors and sickness daily. Every day...not a break. When I take on a secondary, as I believe was the case, I will need to be communicated to that persons specific level of pain/sickness needs. I CAN'T guess. I am far from a Neanderthal and far from self centred. However my tolerance of pain and requirements of comforting are different than, say my wife. There is never a time when communicating your needs is bad...with my own wife, she needs to be clear, if I jumped everytime she had a flareup or pain, or became exhausted, I would become a nurse mother. Something she doesn't need, so she needs to communicate to me her problems, preferably with a level of how much it hurts.

Ideally, I will ask, and I probably will...but not everyone will. Not everyone is cognizant of sickness. So its always safe to communicate the problem.

BTW what is a DH? Husband?
Dear husband if my googling doesn't lie

Hope that was a good counter point to what you were saying, which I do understand btw. There may be a back story as to why someone doesn't jump everytime they hear about a persons pain or hospital visit.


Last edited by Ariakas; 07-24-2010 at 10:58 PM.
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