beware the coup de foudre!
Thanks! It's a good point. Sublimated desire is probably how I got into this mess in the first place -as far as the kisses and the whispered fantasies go. I've been slowly (resisting) falling in love with him for at least 15 years. It has helped tremendously to examine my feelings here in this forum. I feel like I can make more conscious choices now. Before, I just knew that the traditional wisdom of mainstream society said I should not be feeling anything for this man, and it was too strong a feeling for me to set aside. Now I see that there is nothing strange or wrong with loving him; I am not guilty from the get-go, so now I can accept the love, and make honest choices about my actions.
It won't ever be going back to the way it was before. I can be monogamous, but know I understand my motive to do so.
*sigh of relief*