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Old 07-23-2010, 12:12 PM
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clairegoad clairegoad is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ozona, FL
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Default Be gentle with husband, and yourself.

Originally Posted by Karma13 View Post
I "think" I am poly. When I told my husband he said "was I leaving then?" so I don't think he gets it at all.

I have been reading books on the subject, which I know he isn't keen on, but I am starting to feel "trapped" as I feel this is really the way I am.
Time helps. Some spouses get used to the idea. Some reject it outright after thinking for a while.

Are you near any other polys? Maybe a RL support group would be good.

Go slow... give husband a chance to catch up. He's scared, and can't imagine the future you see. He doesn't want to be hurt... and doesn't see any other option.

Be gentle with him. --And yourself. Give the idea time and space to grow.

Here's the link that was played for me, within an hour of first hearing the word polyamory.. (so I'm biased and rather fond of it..)

[Boston Globe Polyamory Youtube][/URL]

--and I adore the contrast of the old health class videos with the current thinking...

Watch it, watch it with him... good starting point for conversations.

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