Thread: What do you do
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Old 07-22-2010, 06:54 AM
FormerUnicorn FormerUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 119

Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
Yes, kissing is still an option .

As for the no sexual relations part....Breathes has a very low libido & Possibility has ED so I'm just trying to find things to do so I can get my fix (without going the way of the buzzzzzzzzzzzzz) while still helping them feel good as well. Sex isn't totally out of the question, it's just very infrequent (twice a month if I'm really, REALLY lucky, & yes I get cranky about it, lol).
Gosh, I've been in both of those situations. I was a really cranky girl myself, until I found a routine that worked for the relationships I was in. It sounds like you really don't need advice on how to feel intimate with these people, it really does sound like you're asking about the sexy side of things. I'm writing under that assumption here.

My biggest mistake was to try to ignore the fact that I was very desirous of sex. I went into major denial about it. I'm still undoing the damage this caused. When I realized that I was entitled to feel good sexually whether or not I got to have sex with my partner, things got a lot better. Once I cultivated the habit of feeling great about sex again, things were a LOT easier with my partners even with their (our) problems.

For ED the best gift I was able to give was to make it clear that my partner was still excellent at satisfying me, and that his performance problems were completely irrelevant to his ability to please me. Cultivating other sexual activities besides penile penetration that left me writhing with pleasure was a whole new realm of fun as we got to try all sorts of new things out. I got the satisfaction of being... satisfied, and he got the satisfaction of having satisfied me, which he said made him feel awesome.

For low libido, just letting my partner know that I was going to go have a fun time in the bedroom while he was doing whatever solitary activity he was doing and then visiting him periodically during my session in order to steal passionate kisses while I smelled of sexy woman was enough to pique his interest over time. Because the issue of my wanting to feel good wasn't swept under the rug, and I was very intent on making myself fulfilled, but I wasn't pressuring him for anything either, it opened the door for him to check in on me, and then play a little, and then join me. Eventually sexy kisses alone could lead to fun, just like they ought to.

I hope things pick up for you.
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