Thread: My first third
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Old 01-09-2009, 10:17 AM
Olivier's Avatar
Olivier Olivier is offline
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Belgium
Posts: 150

Hey Austin,

First of all very welcome to the forum. Your situation is all too common unfortunately. I have had the same happen to me, and many of my friends. One of the hardest things in life is not breaking (abusive) cycles like this yourself, but to watch others stuck in cycles you have already broken. I think it's fair to say you have tried to help your friend as much as you can. But she will have to do it on her own from here. It might sound harsh, but this is her moment in life where she will actually gain a lot IF she finally decides to break up with him. It might happen, it might not happen. All you can do is be there for her when she finally does. I have seen people beaing teared down waiting, and I suggest you try not to wait 'actively'. Maybe it's hard right now but pushing it to the side might be the best option. Also make sure that she's not just constantly using you as a vent. It might be good for her to build up some anger or bad feelings and use it as a catalyst to come to some realisations and actions. When she finally breaks this abuse cycle there's no guarantee either that she won't repeat it elsewhere, but her breaking up on her own might seriously help to prevent that. Hang in there
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