Originally Posted by AnotherConfused
My husband knows I enjoy seeing the other man, but does he need to know I enjoy kissing him too? Should I stop kissing him, as one friend of mine advises? (I feel more guilty about loving him -something I can't help -than about kissing him.) I have told my husband that I feel more sexual when my friend compliments my body or looks at me like he wants me -but should I tell him when he had that "highest climax of his life" the other night, it had a lot to do with my friend having recently whispered orgasmic descriptions of my favorite fantasies in my ear?
What to do?
Poly does have something to offer you. It has an avenue to recapture some lost integrity I think. I doubt that many people would not consider the actions described above as anything but an affair. I'm not judging but trying to point out what I believe is obvious.
If you reverse the situation and it is your husband who has another woman whispering fantasies in his ear and kissing him without your knowledge would you see it any other way?
You have already crossed certain boundaries I believe. Unless you plan on stopping the above mentioned behaviour than I think you owe it to your husband out of respect to broach the topic of polyamory to at least give him the option.
Either way, you're on a path that I am not unfamiliar with. Please don't think that I am attacking you, but please don't think that your husband won't be affected by what you have already done.
If you love your husband then don't play him for a fool....because that is probably what he will feel like unless you are honest with him.
Give poly a try if you love both of them.