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Old 07-21-2010, 07:27 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sunny CA
Posts: 293
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Well, Learned something else about myself the past couple of days. I need to learn to trust that I DO have good judgment in people.

J talked with that woman the night after I posted the last post and he told her that he wasn't going to put up with her behavior anymore. That she could not choose his friends for her, and he wanted to be more than friends with me. He apologized for not doing anything when she was so rude to me and promised to step up if that were to happen again.

Time will tell, I suppose.

He hung out with my friends for the first time since then and they got along great. It made me very happy. The few friends that know what is going on were friendly and happy for me, and totally themselves. The others who had no clue, gave me a strange look and then probably brushed it off as a new friend of mine.

Now - I just have to ride this wave and see if this is something that works for me or not. I am having fun (complicated by moments of guilt and feeling like I am cheating, which I am not... but eh.) I don't want to lose the amazing thing I have with O due to this and am being careful to not take actions that I don't really want or need. I have to trust him to tell me what is going on with him as well... I know this.

I keep thinking about if this were reversed. I'd have such a hard time. O seems to be handling it well, even while he is out of the country.

Maybe me having this experience will help me realize why I shouldn't freak out. maybe not... guess we will see.

I don't want to hurt either of them. So I tell J that it is like we have just started dating and I expect him to date other people. In fact, he is good dating material for my own friends. wonder if that would be weird.

Anyhow, just venting a bit with all the new information floating in my brain.

It flops from a moment of giddiness to guilt to worry to giddiness again.... ahhhhh! I need to calm down.
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