Any update from the last few days?
As far as what ILW2 said... yes, I am faced with some of the same issues. The external pressure of what others think. Sure, I hear all of the "Who cares what other people think?" "It's between you and your wife!" etc etc... but the fact is that I do feel it.
I've come to terms with the fact that it is not related to any short-comings of mine. But I still struggle with it being related to not-enough-comings of mine. (Does that make sense?) I think it was Sage (if not, I apologize to you and whoever did say it that I am not quoting correctly) that said it took a while to realize that even if they were THE perfect partner it wasn't going to make their spouse not poly. I found that useful to think about.
Good luck with your situation!