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Old 07-20-2010, 09:38 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,718

Wow, you have some poly learning to do my friend, just having read your last post! You won't lose her unless you make it so. Poly is not "with" or "not with," as it is in mono relationships. Its adjustable and manoverable. She has equal chance of being hurt, because when you leave it will be for good!

Chances are this is how she sees her SO, who by the way has every right to try being mono. What the hell, if he can manage it, why not! Its certainly easier. I have known poly folks that drop off when they fall for someone who asks them to be mono. Look at the thread about venting right now, my friend dated a mono woman that asked him to be mono with him and he ended up cheating as he just couldn't do it. Relationships don't just stand still right where they began, they change and I suspect that buddy is no where near the end of his journey, just as you aren't, so why judge him for that?

To add to that I have a tersiary boyfriend that is dating a mono woman right now because he wants to give it a try. We have an agreement that "we" are not done. He still flirts with me, touches me in a special way. Kisses me. All because he misses us. He is on his own path and I wait, respect and love him regardless. I am his closest friend and confidante apart from his girlfriend. I'm good with this journey and support him whereever I can and in addition to her. To me we never ended other than his priority changed and we don't have sex right now. Other than that, I am not going anywhere, unlike if I were mono. I'd be long gone.
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