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Old 07-20-2010, 07:18 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by immaterial View Post
What I meant to communicate in my other message was a sense that you were expecting sexual behavior from this woman but not really just giving her the space to find her own way.....

You seem intent to label her resistance to sex as various forms of pathology or "hang ups" or defects/shortcomings on her part, and I think this will get you nowhere. She is precisely where she is on her path and is ready for exactly what she is doing or not doing. You know what I mean?
I agree with Immaterial in what he says above.

I think you may have a future, but I wouldn't bank on it. Just because she seemed to enjoy something doesn't mean that she is on the same wave length. I get that you have fallen in love with her, but she is not where you are at it seems. Perhaps she never will be or perhaps she will. It just seems like regardless of whether or not she seemed to enjoy her experiences with you, she is not on the same path. She is on her own.

It could be exploratory. It could be a thrill with someone that she trusts, it could be that she really likes women and you in particular... I just wouldn't bank on the the last one there... it's to early to tell and it sounds to me like you are creating something in your head about her that might not be true, just you want it to be with that one. If you weren't in love with her I wonder if you would see it differently? See it as a fun exploratory time with a friend? I wonder if this is how she is seeing it? therefore, I wonder how much you have invested in something that might not exist? It concerns me and I worry about you getting hurt in all of this... used maybe. I wouldn't wish that on anyone as I have experienced it.

Just be careful, that's all. Obviously my experiences might not be yours and might be worthless in this case. One just doesn't know at this point and I would hate to see you invest in something that isn't real because you are caught up in love, rather than thinking realistically. A little NRE perhaps with this dynamic? Just might be worth re-thinking.
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