The purpose of the "good Peter/bad Peter" part of my post was not in the least to blame dear old mom for my troubles, haha. She loved me with her level best and is completely off the hook, free and clear of any blame. The point was to look for the root of shame bound behavior. Whether or not what she said was normal or dysfunctional is irrelevant. It is not a *functional way to live successfully for me*. She may have said a billion things to me but for some reason it was this "good Peter/bad Peter" dichotomy that stuck, like a dart in my forehead. That's *my* responsibility, not hers.
No amount of rationalization removes the simple fact of my own responsibility for my own story that I myself bought hook line and sinker and need to re-tell for myself based on my experience. This is not in the least about blame for bad parenting. Obviously, if everyone is fine, that includes my mother. haha. It is about taking a look at what I believed to be true and regularly acted out and reconfiguring that truth based on spiritual experience.