These are all good points...
I questioned this during and after my marriage. I definitely had the "in love" feeling, but did not "love" him... and that was a disaster! And now I feel I have the "love" feeling for Ouroboros, and it is more than platonic, for sure. I loooooovvve sex with him and seem to never get enough!
I wonder if I have simply matured a bit, or am fearful of translating limerence, lust, or infatuation into love. So, I have been super conscious of when I feel like this and try to not make decisions based on these intense emotions.
In my mind right now, love and relationships involve choice and action. Love involves decisions one makes consciously with regards to the relationship. I want Ouroboros to be happy and so I treat my love for him as a source of freedom. It allows me to let go. I want to know that he is actively making the choice
to be with me.
I am attracted to some friends, but that does not mean I have romantic love for them. The interesting thing about polyamory though, is that romantic love is not defined
by the lack of desire to be with someone else in the same way (as many, but not all, strictly
monogamous-minded people state).
Man - Once I start thinking about this is gets really confusing!!!
Sometimes, you just need to go with the flow and not think so much!!!
I am loving this mind-warp of a discussion though... thanks!