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Old 07-20-2010, 01:01 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default Agreeing with clairegoad

Yes, sit with this and come back to read it later. You are experiencing a true maelstrom of emotions, and I hope that writing it out has helped to relieve some of that.

I feel you're a little defensive; don't worry! We're not going to bite because you're mono. There are many monos on this forum, and if you give respect, you will receive it.

I will point out the three things that struck me the most while reading your post.

Originally Posted by monopolylover View Post
We give each other time and space as it is needed/wanted and we talk every day.
That is GOOD.

Originally Posted by monopolylover View Post
Iím not jealous; Iím just hurt by the state of how things are that I can not be all this person needs/wants.
This is such a common sentiment and you are not alone. Others do a better job at explaining it, but let me try. If you were the perfect partner in every way, it would still not be "enough." This has absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her. Just as you do not desire multiple loves, a single love is equally undesirable to her. Polys are not monos who just haven't found THE ONE. They have, or are searching for ONES.

Originally Posted by monopolylover View Post
Recently one of her other partners got a girlfriend and wasnít there for her on a night she planned for them. She was hurt by that and stressed about it much the way Iíve stressed about her being with others. Though shes said before that in polyamory something like that wouldnít register that way.
But it did.
She had every right to be upset here because she planned a night with a SO, and he blew her off. I would be upset if it was a friend, let alone a SO.

I hope you can find clarity here, and the sounding board you so obviously need.
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