Thank you for your reply! What you say seems right. And relieving.
I supose I am just feeling like I am done being so patient, as I have been for so long. I feel like both my husband and I have been playing "sex teacher" to both her and him (When we all met up for the first time, her husband blushed at even the smallest sexual innuendo--and now he openly can talk about some sexual issues, without embarassment)...and the badness of how last night went makes me feel like I am done. Possibly for a long while or forever. My only concern is that I have this sneaking suspision that she will try to kiss me again, one day. And while logic tells me to learn from my mistakes, learn from this current pain, that I would have a hard time turning her down. She is so beautiful. Both inside and out. She's a real gem.
I guess I can't give up "hope" forever...but I want to. Ug.
In any case, I am done playing teacher with her. I'm going to tell her that I'm backing away as a sexual lover but not as a best friend.
I would like to open myself up to meeting someone new, perhaps a woman or a man who can teach me something new about sex. I want to be a student for awhile. I want to be in the presence of someone who can teach me for once!!