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Old 07-19-2010, 08:35 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Having 20 years in the military with substantial deployment time, I can say pretty confidently that if he is going away, now is not the time to pursue this in my opinion. When I first got together with Redpepper, I barely focussed on work for months. He would just be commencing his training and this would be his first absence from home. Starting off a career that involves gong away quite often is always hard. Add in the emotions of opening up a relationship and I doubt he will be even focussed enough to succeed.
And it's not like joining the military is any run-of-the-mill out-of-town gig. Hubby being distracted, thinking about you with another man, could potentially get himself or one of his team mates killed. Less drastically, it could get him kicked out of boot camp. Something tells me that would have consequences in your marriage, along the lines of blaming you for bringing this up when he has so much on his plate already.

At the same time, as the wife of a man who works away from home, I know how incredibly lonely that can be, and how nice it sounds to have someone else around during all that free time. But if you're like me, you value your marriage and your husband enough to respect his boundaries and move at a pace he's comfortable with.

Someone else mentioned they'd gotten their husband to at least read some things before outright dismissing the concept. Perhaps that would be an option? Encourage him to read some websites or a book, with no expectation that it will actually change his mind, but just that his decision will at least be informed?
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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