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Old 07-17-2010, 11:23 PM
inlovewith2 inlovewith2 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 117
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[QUOTE=Erato;36433]Hey Christie



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Wow, we're a lot alike, hehe! I'm a survivor too (though I don't consider mine to be all that bad but I do have a tendency to downplay it, maybe it's denial? Not sure.)
Most survivors do; it's a coping mechanism. It all sucks, no need to compete ;-). In all seriousness, there actually are some pros to it if you look hard enough.


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and I'm strangely open despite trust issues. I think sometimes I'm too open and it confronts people with how honest I am! I'm still trying to figure out a middle ground, hehe.
Sounds like we do have a lot in common!

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As for your relationship with DW and the sex issue, well, you were in a place of great suffering and he stuck with you through it. I commend you both: you for working through it and him for supporting you.
He is awesome and I'm not bad myself!

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I think, from what I can say from recent experience with my man, that there is some healing which needs to happen. You're not responsible for making DW all better, I don't mean that, but if I were you I would try to be as reassuring as possible. I've recently figured out it's less about "understanding" or "making him understand" as it is about being understanding of each other.
Yes, we have much healing that needs to happen. From my depression, from the infidelity, and from the loss of what we thought our marriage would always be.

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If he only had one leg and you were asking him to hurry up the stairs (or down them) to you, would you be as patient as possible? He waited for you, right? He now needs that patience.
ITA. I'm not the most patient sort, but I'm developing skills in that area. I'm actually not in any hurry and the partner and potential partner involved are both being fantastic. DW deserves more than just patience.

I'll leave the DW section to him

Thanks as always for the feedback!

Christie
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