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Old 07-16-2010, 08:27 PM
immaterial immaterial is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 135
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It sounds like your husband loves you very much indeed and was fairly courageous to risk that by bringing up his interest in another woman and his desire to have a relationship of some sort with her. One warning sign in your post is your comparison to the other woman and the impact this has had on your self-esteem. It was drilled into me that my partner would only be interested in another man if I were somehow deficient-- unattractive, boring, or in some way "less than." It took a good many years for me to slowly wake up to the fact that this is usually a lie. I have been *enough* for my partner at times and she has still wanted outside relationships. My partner has been *enough* for me and I still have wanted outside relationships. The desire is not a reflection on the beauty or worthiness of the partner, necessarily, in fact, for me, has *never* been. I have *never* fallen for another woman or wanted to be sexual with another woman because my pre-existing partner was "less than." My heart does not work by cause and effect this way, nor am I moitivated by scarcity. I realize this does happen, but it has not been the case for me. My partners have sometimes talked me right into believing it, however! "If I were enough for you you'd stay put and not want this other thing!" It is a convincing argument on the surface. But it has not been the case for me. It is a good question to ask your husband and then truly work to trust in his answer.

Immaterial
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