Originally Posted by DazednConfused
I'm more embarassed of what our friends will think of us, and particularly of me, as a Lesbian, who cant satisfy her wife, so her wife went to a man?
Thanks for the book suggestions, I need all the help I can get right now.
I feel so much for you, some of which is spillover for what I feel for my wonderful husband (on this board as David Webb).
I wish I could convince you, as I wish I could convince him, that the desire to be poly has nothing to do with your shortcomings. Her loving someone else, regardless of gender, does not mean that you don't satisfy her!
I have a potential oso, who has been in an open marriage for 15 years. He's been communicating with both my husband and myself and is just so grounded in why an open marriage works. He's rarely threatened by his wife's relationships (of course he's dating too, but thus far is not physically intimate with anyone since they've tried poly). She has at least 4 boyfriends or potential bfs right now.
I wish I could pass along his security to all who struggle. Instead, I'll just offer the example in the hopes that it is encouraging and wish you much peace as you work through this! Definitely read "Opening Up"!
Some people on here also suggested that I do a search on the board for mono and poly and mono/poly to get an idea of how it works for others. I've been reading some of these threads and getting a lot out of them. Perhaps if he hasn't DW will respond to you as well! He's been struggling with very similar concerns!