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Old 07-15-2010, 10:29 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
It's a bit of an emotional struggle for me and it's very new, because Maca hasn't before seriously entertained the possibility of another woman. Whilst it was ME that started the whole thing-and I'm glad I did. I knew when I did so-it was only one week before I left-and that was going to increase the difficulty. It sucks being unable to be at all involved or included when your SO is building a new relationship.

There's no moment for us to "reconnect" in the evenings like normal. There's no chance for me to curl up in the safety and protection of his arms, feel that reassuring squeeze that tells me how much he still wants/needs me.
You might have to find new ways to have him comfort you, until there is that physical connection. For everyone the need is different. I completely understand where you are coming from, and as a touchy person. while I am not any where near that point in my world, being unable to touch long distance is tough. Might have to get creative to find that comfort

I am a very "all or nothing" kind of girl. I don't have an interest in flings, don't have an interest in short term relationships. I'm ok with the sex coming and going, but if I'm going to have sex-I want to know that the friendship is a lifelong friendship.
Does that seem snotty or over expectatious? I don't know.
No..its within your right to want what you want ...we all have those wants. Just realize the limitation that may create in the ability to build a connection. And I can only use Pengrah as an example. If I had been closed off to the idea of a short fling, I would never be married, and never be where I am today. If I had only wanted long term and that was the primary requirement I would have lost the connection

I am now slowly moving towards the idea of assessing each connection as they come. Don't judge them based on time or intensity and just work with them.

Obviously, it is different for everyone. I am getting close with someone who is very much about building the friendship first and letting it evolve. This is a new experience to me (I tend to be the flaming fire of relationships that burn bright and then die out kind of guy), I just kept myself open to the idea of that kind of structure

I just know that it's hard being away from all of my loved ones and all of you too!! At any rate! I am happily continuing to do my walks-increasing my mileage by the week. I'm enjoying the time with my kiddos and I'm looking forward to a "friendly date" August 16th with a beautiful lady and looking forward to a week of sexy, romantic time with Maca then too.
awesome on all counts. Glad to hear you are keeping up on the walking. Can't wait to drag you and yours through the woods of whistler on a nice hike

(I do know those of you who know me are wondering "what about GG"-he's there, I don't know what the situation is. The same issues from the last thread of frustration I created are continuing and I'm not sure how to resolve them right now. Yes of course I remain in love with him and no I'm not giving up on him. Just on hold waiting to see what it is he's going to really decide he wants out of a relationship...)
Sorry to hear that...hope he gets stuff figured out
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