Thank you both for your comments, they are very helpful!
Yes, EugenePoet, you and I sound very similar. I think, in my previous relationship with a poly man, I felt an internal pressure to look for other men. I did that, and found some great men, but then, I think because I pushed myself too quickly into romance with them, I found myself not feeling much.
This time, it is different, and I'm hoping that with time and patience, as you wisely suggest, maybe it will work. The man I met this time, I felt a real chemistry with immediately. We are going out tonight for the first time. That's what prompted my post...because, when he called to make the date, I found myself feeling oddly aloof. But maybe that is just a siren telling me to take it slow and explore it, like I would any relationship.
I was thinking last night, too, that when you meet a new person, of course you don't know how you feel exactly...you don't know them yet! And I think I compare them to my other love because I already have established deep feelings for the other love.
Is my current relationship meeting all my needs?...well, yes, and no. He doesn't have a lot of time for me and is in a bit of transition himself (is going through a divorce- he had an open marriage- and has two young children). So, I've often thought that it would be nice if I could also have another person to spend time with, to round out my life...
Thanks again for your useful advice and helpful questions...I will continue to ask them of myself. I've definitely been growing through this process and yes, I think some patience and calm will help resolve a lot of my questions.