Originally Posted by geminigirl
Just to play devil's advocate here, I'd like to mention that sometimes there are poly agendas.. ie. a poly person dates a mono person with the intention of "converting" them. In my observation (close-hand experience) this does not go over well for either person.
Sometimes agendas are not conscious, though. A culturally conditioned agenda just seems normal to the person who holds the belief. Even poly people dating other poly people can have "agendas", which is why it's important to discuss (and keep on discussing) relationship goals and needs as time goes on.
@gemmigirl I agree with this statement too, but that is why communication and discussion is key in ANY relationship... in this case mentioned it is just as important for the monogamous person to make it clear that they aren't changing their beliefs and suddenly start being poly just as it is equally important for the poly person to make it clear they aren't changing their beliefs and start being mono neither. i think any relationship whereby we either consciously or subconsciously ask our partners to change merely to better suit us doesn't normally go over well.
we don't have to all come from the same cookie cutter and we do need to respect and acknowledge that there are other shapes and even other types of cookies out there which are all just as delicious as the other cookies and we needs to be upfront about the fact that if we are a chocolate chip cookie we are not going to magically become a gingerbread man cookie or vice verse just because that's what the other wants... :-) damn, now i gotta go eat a cookie or 2, and i don't mean figuratively.... LOL ...can u tell i work with kids based on my analogy????