I like that way of thinking of it.
We've talked about it more. I've stated my needs, she's stated hers.
I guess the bottom line for me is that I need to feel like the priority out of the others, the primary. If that's met, then I feel fulfilled with Erato, and also like my needs are fulfilled with every other person so I'm not terribly achey if I can't be with them romantically. This is not so for Erato, not because her way is worse than mine but because it's different. She can spread her love much farther than me but actually needs to spread it to be fulfilled. I can feel more fulfilled with love from one person but need it more focused on me.
It's harder to accept poly when I feel like my own needs will be ignored. So right now, when we're actually capable of doing so, another lover is something I think I can adjust to, because Erato is definitely worth it. I know words like "allow" rub you the wrong way, immaterial, and I'm sorry I offended. But, I need to go at my own pace with this, for me as well as her.
The matter of another lover is not likely to become immediately relevant in the first place until a couple/few years down the line, so we should really be appreciating the time we have now. This is because we're long distance, by the way. It's a collective preference during this time, not because of one of us.
Am I in the right line of thinking or totally wrong?
I love Erato so so very much, and I want to be with her! (...That's about as close as you'll get to a PDA here, dear.)
Edit: Added something important.
Last edited by Bold; 07-14-2010 at 09:46 PM.