Thanks Sage, and I don't consider the thread hijacked at all, no worries. I'm trying to suck up as much of all of the members wisdom and experience as I can. I appreciate it all, even seeing what polyamorous couples go through further into the relationship is relevant.
I really don't know if she's using me or not, I doubt it, but I find doubt in everything these days. I tried to leave yesterday, and she would have no financial concerns, so I don't see any upside for her fighting for me.
I find the info on the NRE invaluable. I sincerely am trying to let her do her thing, but I get pissed when she outs me in the process without so much as a warning.
My immediate issue is now that we've gone to roommates, I'm trying to draw lines in the sand regarding intamacy. It seems now that I'm at risk of being without her, I want her more than ever. I keep saying slow down, but well, its half hearted at best. The issue here is I want her madly, but I'm not emotionally there, I kiss her and it feels like total bliss, then my mind flips to him in her mouth and I just get somewhere between a turned stomach and furious. So as I've told her no more intamacy for now, she knows me well enough to see I'm not very strong in that conviction and is flirting like crazey.