Hate to pick fly-shit out of the pepper jar,..BUT,....
If DADT policies are to be used. There has to be some give. People shouldnt be allowed to hide 100%.
What is so hard, about giving a simple 'yes' answer ? It does not need to be a big production, of meetings, and chatting.
This story, lets use it as a example. Say she had this opportunity :
Shiny New Girlfriend needs that reassurance that someone is not lying about their open relationship. She needs to check with the wife.
Male gives shiny, new girlfriend the phone number. Shiny, New GF (SNG) calls :
* Ring, Ring !*
Wife : ' Hello ? "
SNG : " Hello, I am just checking to make sure your husband and you are in a open relationship ? "
Wife : " Yes. "
** ...click. **
Why wouldn`t The wife/husband (at home) want to make sure, that people understand, that they are not being cheated on ? It`s a source of pride in a way, isn`t it ? Even if it isn`t, why not say that one word, as a way of protecting the 'community' from cheaters who like to pose as poly, or in a open relationship ?
If it was standard practice to do this one simple thing, imagine the peace of mind it would bring.
Even if you do not want to know what your partner is up to, odds are many SNG`s or SNB`s would not call. Just being handed the phone in a forthright way, would be enough for them.
The few that do call,.....are in need of a 1 word acknowledgement. That`s it. I do believe some people need to get their head out of the sand, and at least help their partner in this way. Anything to the contrary, is suspect .
I am sure this has been covered a 1000 times before,..but it seems to be said 1000 more times.
...End of chocolate-milkshake-induced rant