Originally Posted by Ariakas
Ultimatums in any form suck the wind from a relationship. I agree completely with this point.
The problem with this...line of thinking is that you are trying to turn what you believe onto others. This is the same type of thinking as when poly people say there is only one way, the poly way. Everyone is poly but just to naive to realize it.
Be careful going in that direction because items can become preachy. If we ever want poly to be recognized, you don't want to attack the foundation of the people that you want to have understand you (heck, you may not care about this, I am just putting it out there btw) While I don't entirely disagree, what is wrong with looking at someone you love and thinking of how much you would lose. You simplify it greatly by looking only at the pain of loss. But that pain can come from knowing the great things you would be giving up. What you may miss out in the future.
I understand this sentiment, and I am very careful about avoiding projection of what I believe onto others (I wrote A LOT of people TEND to think . . . as opposed to "People think.")
I suppose my meaning became lost in the text somewhere.
These aren't attacks by any means, simply observations and a request for input. I try to avoid proclamations with any kind of certitude. They freak me out.
Good points, of course. I will remain ever vigilant.