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Old 07-13-2010, 05:04 PM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
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Default Sacrifice and authenticity in relationships

In Chess, sacrifice is a strategic giving up of a chess piece. It is allowing or forcing an opponent to take one of your pieces or pawns so that you can gain an advantage position. I don’t consider this to be a necessarily good tactic for personal relationships……but

When defining sacrifice as the giving up of something valuable or important for somebody or something else considered to be of more value or importance, I find this to be a worthwhile endeavor and in fact necessary if a person wants to live a life of fulfillment.

This requires one to be aware of their own personal values.

In the past, I have found that (on behalf of a relationship) I was willing to extend myself in a few areas in ways I had never extended myself before. Basically, spending more time as well as physical and emotional energy on activities which were not activities I would have chosen if left on my own. Although I do not regret having done this, and in fact I look back on these times fondly, I tend to be less willing to extend myself in this way at the present moment. On some level, I thought the extra effort might cement the relationship….and maybe it did, but a relationship is two way (or 3 way, or 4 way etc.) and there is only so much I can personally do to insure its continuance.

I now believe that the best way a person can contribute to a relationship is by being true to themselves and by offering the things which come natural to them. I believe that each person has certain tendencies, specialties, gifts and talents. A lot of people don’t even know what their gifts are. In my opinion, remaining aware of your own personal gifts and talents and then utilizing those in a way that the people you care about will benefit from them is the best way to invest your time and energy in relationships.

The constant striving for self awareness may seem selfish at first glance, but when people remain true to themselves and continue to express themselves in an authentic way- it is my opinion that this is where they have the most to offer to the people they love.
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