Originally Posted by Bold
It seems unbalanced to say poly should get priority in a relationship. It's frustrating because mono seems controlling, but it's still suppressing a part of who I am to have that other lover, which is something she does and not me. And yes, flirting in front of me is hurtful, and as I understand it can be to poly people as well if they aren't comfortable with it.
I don't know if this is a poly vs mono thing. The priority is your relationship. You need to do, within your range, whats comfortable to make her happy. And visa versa. This can be a tremendous amount of pressure. How far can "you" adjust, and how far can "she" adjust.
I will be honest, I think I have seen more people break, then bend as far as needed. We can't tell you where that will happen but your partnership needs to be built on its own.
Best of luck with the journey. It like anything in relationships will be a challenge. If you survive and come out the other end, then you WILL be stronger. That I do know about relationship struggles