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Old 07-13-2010, 03:17 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
what is the difference between and agenda and a goal? I have goals in my life for my relationships... why is that not an agenda and how is it not selfish?

I think we are all selfish, we are all trying to do right by ourselves first. If we didn't then we would not be functional people.
Agreed and we do see it time and time again here with people whos only agenda appears to be the person they are dependant on. At some point, in some way, you have to be trying to better yourself. Ideally everyone around you is helping you, as you also help them. Elevating the whole instead of the one.

I have the capacity to forgive someone who has a selfish agenda in their relationship, no matter what kind of relationship, because it's human. What I have no patience for is if they go on and on with it and don't give one ounce back for that patience. I can only go so far with that. I need to see movement to understand and accept before calling it quits.
Just curious, but isn't this the foundation of compromise? Too bad there isn't something measurable as to when the breaking point occurs. How far left and how long do I wait for someone to slide their thoughts over before walking away.

@honestheart, Autumalnote- I agree, people need to be seen as a package deal, no matter what the relationship. We all come with baggage, others that are close to us and in poly? Other partners.
Agreed as well
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