Originally Posted by immaterial
I think the suggestions to "just ask" are utterly insane! Every interaction between a man and a woman is inherently dishonest and based on a game. Surely, this "communication" thing is a trick, just another way for people to gain the upper hand in the mating dance? :-)
Just curious... what is the payoff to this dishonesty?
"Are you interested in me?" Yes - we continue progressing towards a deeper relationship. If dishonest yes goal is sex/ no emotional relationship?
"Are you interested in me? " No - We continue to be friends, or not. If you're not interested, I doubt anyone would ask twice-unless you suddenly acted interested.
Is there an advantage to dishonesty? or is it just a Harlequin romance plot device.... transferred to RL?
I'm thinking about the lies of omission that I've (not) told. I'm currently unemployed. Don't mention that here or on okcupid. I'm actively looking for a job, I can pay my rent. I don't need sympathy, a hand out or a sugar daddy. Is it dishonest to NOT mention that? Yes, the timing sucks, OTOH, when I'm working... 12 hour days... I'm not able to spend time looking for a relationship... and a bed is only for sleeping.