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Old 07-13-2010, 07:42 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

It was an international poly camp, there were people there from Portland Oregon, Washington state. All over. It wasn't huge, but people represented, for sure.

Back to success and happiness again. We seem to get off topic on here don't we?

I had a great day with Nerdist today. We had the day off together... or at least a morning. We went and signed our wills leaving our boy to Mono and the house if he is raising him. That felt really good and the right decsion. We made my tersiary the exectutor of the will. The two of them will be very able to take care of things the way we would want. It feels much better than my parents doing it. Because of this years events it became evident that we needed to change that.

We have needed some settling time lately, Nerdist and I as we have much to talk about and rarely get the chance to connect. It just goes to show how much taking time with poly relationships is needed. We are working on several things at once; his relationship with rolypoly and where it is going, how it effects our lives, Mono and us living together and Nerdist's seemingly endless dissatisfaction with his career. We managed to cover it all without having an all out fight that ends in disconnection.

I gave him a pep talk about his career, talked about some hard stuff about roly and some hard stuff about Mono and us and all of it with minimal emotion and drama!

Yes folks, redpepper has drama. All the time. It's a mainstay, but is just part of it and I need to embrace it or become mono... the latter is not happening, so drama it is. I just need to not be a drama queen is all.

Anyway, I feel good tonight for the first time in a long time. Good as in grounded, sure footed, content, like we are on the same page, like I gave and now am reaping the benefits in knowing Nerdist feels better and that we are making a move forward with a better understanding and patience than we had before.

Also knowing that he is giving to me by trying to get there with the moving in together thing. He is still miles behind me, but he is catching up and making an effort to catch up. That is all I ask really. I can wait if I know he is trying and working on it.

This afternoon I spent my time with Mono telling him the details. This is my life, talking about hard stuff and then telling everyone else I am with how it went and what happened.... it's endless, necessary and I love it. crazy I know, but I really do.

Thankfully Derby and I are doing well. I don't feel I see her half as much as she requires and that makes me sad, but I can't do more than talk to her on MSN all day and see her with others around mostly except for our treasured dates every two weeks. This week we are going to the night market in a close by town. Dinner, market, smooches, cuddles and a much needed talk. I can't wait!
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