[redpepper]

what is the difference between and agenda and a goal? I have goals in my life for my relationships... why is that not an agenda and how is it not selfish?

I think we are all selfish, we are all trying to do right by ourselves first. If we didn't then we would not be functional people.

I have the capacity to forgive someone who has a selfish agenda in their relationship, no matter what kind of relationship, because it's human. What I have no patience for is if they go on and on with it and don't give one ounce back for that patience. I can only go so far with that. I need to see movement to understand and accept before calling it quits.

@honestheart, Autumalnote- I agree, people need to be seen as a package deal, no matter what the relationship. We all come with baggage, others that are close to us and in poly? Other partners.