Originally Posted by Erato
Mono: but is it wrong to hope that I can build a bridge which will endure like you and your lady have?
Of course it is possible if you work together. But I'll be honest with you, there are a lot of things that had to happen for us to be together. And what you are asking for is also something I would not be capable of.
My ability to be in this relationship is largely dependent on some pretty big things, most of those being a product of experiences already had:
My monogamous needs (traditional marriage, traditional family, social blending..etc, etc, etc) were met in a previous relationship and therefore are not needs anymore. These needs could not be met in a poly relationship.
I came into this relationship knowing it's nature, I was not asked to change the nature of an existing one (not something I would do)
Redpepper has a primary in her husband...HUGE!! It is his presence that removes my natural monogamous desire to have the commitment I give returned to me in the same way...think exclusivity. (not something Redpepper could do). The stability and health of their relationship is paramount in the sustainability of my own with her.
I do wish you all the best and urge you to be true to yourselves. When looking at mono/poly relationships it is important to identify the goals of each person. Short term enjoyment has much different requirements than a long term commitment.