Thread: Dating...
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Old 07-13-2010, 07:00 AM
immaterial immaterial is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 135

I sympathize with the dating question. I have rarely if ever been on a date, per se, despite 32 years of avid partnering. Precisely how the various shes and I have ended up together is a mystery, given the non-dating nature of the experience. Without exception, come to think of it, we just end up together and monogamous. This is how the cycle has repeated again and again, with no explicit conversation about what either one of us wants or needs or expects or does not expect from a relationship. Is it any wonder that, even when we have been great together, these little bondings have ended in catastrophe over and over again?

I have never been friends with a woman for any length of time prior to being with her sexually. If I am friend with a woman for a long time, it means we will never be sexual. Then, after my little dyads die off, I am always friends with the women for years and years. My first ex-wife and I have been friends for 15 years now.

Now I have decided I would like to go on dates. It is very awkward! I literally do not know how to do it. Me, with a relationship and sex inventory five times longer than my forearm. The funny thing is I don't know how to just have a relaxed, conversational, playful good time with a woman. No strings, no sex worries, no heavy "is she the one?" questions, no big commitments or big decisions. Just a good, simple time. So this is now what I am interested in learning how to do.

I think the suggestions to "just ask" are utterly insane! Every interaction between a man and a woman is inherently dishonest and based on a game. Surely, this "communication" thing is a trick, just another way for people to gain the upper hand in the mating dance? :-)

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